Arthur's Smile
by brownpaperbags
Summary: Uther's thoughts on the relationship between Arthur and Merlin. My first fanfic. Read, Review, its all good. No slash.


Arthur was smiling. Not that he didn't smile before, but the happiness had rarely reached his eyes. Uther didn't know exactly when the change began. His failsafe culprit, magic, could hardly be to blame in this situation. Even if it had been he wasn't entirely sure he minded, which was a terrifying thought.

Arthur had always been a happy child. His sunny smile and ringing laughter was the only thing that could quiet the monster of grief and rage in Uther's heart. Yet, as every child must, Arthur grew from a boy to a man far faster than Uther had wanted. As years went by and his responsibilities grew his son's easy smile disappeared and he was left with a son that became more like him with every passing day. For some fathers this might be a comfort or at least something to brag about around the tavern fire, as men are often likely to do. But for Uther, the thought of his son becoming like him was not a comforting thought. His son, while he rarely showed it, was the most important person in his life and not just because of his claim to Camelot, as many people believed. The idea that his only son could know the hatred and grief Uther had felt was a devastating blow. He had hoped the boy would take after his mother, Ygraine.

The woman had been a bright light in Uther's darkness. When that light had been snuffed out Uther was lost on his path without a light to guide him. He had always hoped Arthur would take her place in his heart and he would know the way again. But, even though he loved his son more than life, nothing could replace the flame that had been Ygraine. Uther often wondered if Arthur had felt this unsaid pressure and had pushed himself in response. He wondered even more frequently if his son knew the pride he felt at calling himself father. Uther wished he could tell him, but the words always seemed to stick in his throat and by the time they were free again the moment had always passed.

The two men were stuck in a vicious cycle. Arthur would push himself harder and harder each year, subconsciously waiting for words of approval from the one man he looked up to. Uther, for his part, would allow his son to strive for his affection and while he wished to give it, never seemed to be able to. The result was a son who rarely laughed and whose smile never reached his eyes. This, more than any of his mistakes, broke Uther's heart. Yet still the words of approval couldn't escape him. He felt they were trapped in a dance that would eventually be the death of them. Arthur would push too hard and while he was strong, he was only human. The grief Uther would know if his son was lost would tear the kingdom apart. Uther knew this, but felt powerless to stop it.

Then something changed. It was a subtle change at first, not even noticeable unless close to him, but there nonetheless. Arthur would show up to court with a small, secretive smile on his face and a mild look of exasperation in his eyes, but the happiness was there, beneath the surface and Uther thrilled to see it. His laughter, while still a rare occurrence, was given more easily and was without the underlying arrogance Uther had grown used to hearing.

Yes, something had certainly changed in Arthur, but Uther could not figure out what that change might be. It wasn't until almost a year later that Uther finally found the culprit for his son's transformation and it was the last thing Uther ever expected it to be; His son's manservant, Merlin.

He had heard rumors, of course. Whispers that the boys were rarely seen apart and were constantly squabbling in a very brotherly manner were commonplace around the castle. After all, the handmaidens and castle staff liked nothing more than a juicy story. Uther had never put much stock in them. Arthur was, of course, the crown prince and for a prince to act brotherly to a servant was unheard of. If Uther hadn't seen it for himself he would have never given Merlin the credit he deserved.

It had been a night like any other night. Uther's day had been filled with complaints from farmers about pests in their crops and Uther was forced to send Gaius to deal with the issue. After a full day of court, Uther wanted nothing more than a simple dinner, hot bath, and a warm bed. Arthur would be joining him for dinner, which was unusual, but not unheard of. Uther was secretly thrilled to have an entire evening with his son and decided that he would retrieve Arthur from his chambers so that they could spend the long, leisurely walk to the dining hall together.

When he reached his son's chamber the door was slightly open. He strode over and put his hand to the wood to knock, but before he could he heard a loud crash from inside the room. Alarmed, he opened the door a little wider and just barely made out Arthur's manservant sprawled upon the floor, his gangly limbs spread out before him. Arthur's armor was all over the floor and Uther immediately came to the conclusion that Merlin had tripped and dropped it.

"Merlin," he heard his son's voice call. "Why do you insist on being such a clumsy idiot?"

"Perhaps I am overwhelmed by the presence of your prattyness," came the servant's biting reply.

Uther was filled with rage at the young man's words. How dare he, a mere servant, speak to his son in such a tone. He would have the boy flogged in front of the entire town for his rudeness. Why his son ever risked his life to save this filth before him, Uther would never know. Uther moved to throw open the door and drag the whelp from the room, but a sound stopped him. Arthur's laughter.

It was warm and sincere and like nothing Uther had ever heard before from his son. He stopped to watch the scene play out and grew more amazed by the minute.

The servant had picked himself up from the floor and absentmindedly shuffled a piece of armor around with his toe.

"You really are a clotpole," Merlin said, but there was no menace behind the words, only an exasperated fondness. "You really shouldn't laugh at people's pain, you know."

"I don't laugh at everyone's pain, Merlin," came his son's reply. "Just yours."

Merlin scowled and halfheartedly threw a pillow from the floor at his son's head. There was a quick laugh and then Arthur entered Uther's line of sight, grabbing Merlin in a chokehold and proceeding to rub the top of the boy's head with his fist.

"Oi, prat," came Merlin's muffled yell. "Stop it!"

"Apologize," Arthur laughed, continuing his attack on the boy's head.

"To you? Never!"

"I was hoping you'd say that," Arthur growled with fake menace. He finally allowed the boy free a moment later to let him get some air. Both of them took a step back and appraised each other with amusement and secret fondness.

Uther decided he had seen enough and stepped back from the door, lest he be seen intruding upon this odd, but not entirely unwanted friendship. For that is what it was, Uther knew, a friendship. Perhaps the first real friend his son had ever had and Uther knew, without a doubt, that this simple servant boy was someone Arthur needed desperately, even if he never admitted it.

From that moment on, Uther made it a point to turn a blind eye to havoc the servant caused. He ignored the disrespectful remarks, the immature pranks, the thrown pillows. He squashed any rumors around the castle that would hinder the boy's relationship and allowed their friendship to continue. Somehow, he knew in his heart, that Merlin was important to Arthur's happiness. Yet, if he was honest with himself, Uther knew it went farther than that. One day Arthur would be king and he had a feeling that Merlin would be a large part of his success.

Uther knew he would never be able to hold his son close and tell him how proud he was of him, how much he loved him. Uther knew he and his son were doomed to their dangerous dance and he knew that nothing would change because he had too much pride and was too hard hearted. Uther knew this…and it saddened him. The only comfort he would find in the coming years was the secret smile his son, the crown prince, and his servant would share. He drew strength from his son's amused snort as he tried to hide his laughter while Merlin attempted to amuse his master during matters of court. Uther was proud that he, unknowingly of course, had given his son the only thing he had desired other than his father's approval. He had given his son a best friend.


End file.
